Overrated Sunday

Heeeeeyyy! I'm a spare! Just like Rob's Advice Column!



Well, it's Sunday, the most overrated day of the week. In the spirit of Mother's Day, I won't say I "hate" Sundays because my mother "hates" when I use that word. Hypocrite.

Instead, I'll say that I "strongly dislike" Sundays. There's nothing worse than a day off where you can't do anything cool that night because Monday is the next day. Is Sunday being unfairly associated with Monday? Possibly. But if anything, Sunday is merely a platform for Saturday's greatness. Anyway, this is already sounding like a really bad Dave Barry column, so I'll stop now.

So yeah, if it's Sunday, then that means I've got a big bag of nothing failed bit to try with you all. A real man can admit his failures and I feel that I "strongly disliked" my advice column bit. The questions stopped rolling in and one of my highly supportive friends told me they stopped reading halfway through my first column because they were being beaten to high holy hell. Fine. I'll move on and get back on my high horse and try something else. In the spirit of "blogs", shouldn't I just get back to what I do best--complaining?

I'm gonna try something called "Overrated Sunday". I won't explain the whole bit because if you have ten brain cells to spare, you'll get it. And no one has more faith in my single digit readership than me. And just so you know, I probably won't waste my time on "underrated" things. Because shit, wasting blog space on positivity if it isn't sex-related seems a bit high-handed and self-righteous. I mean hell, I don't pretend to have all the answers. Much like Socrates, I just know how full of shit the rest of the world is when they pretend they do. (Wow, I just compared myself to Socrates! My God I have a high opinion of myself.)

Television

"Happy Days": Talk about a show that got more mileage out of nothing. Who knew that a show could center around a forty-year old who plays a high school student with two catch phrases and an office in a bathroom, a geeky, if somewhat charming main character who couldn't get laid if he was equipped with two guns and Brad Pitt's body, and most importantly--Scott Baio? With this winning mix, this show somehow lasted ELEVEN SEASONS. My God, Fonzie was filing for social security benefits by the end of it's run. And he even wore that stupid leather jacket with shorts while surfing on one episode. Sigh. Funny fact: Henry Winkler turned down John Travolta's eventual role in Grease because, get this, "he didn't want to be typecast". Quick, name anything else Henry Winkler has ever done. I challenge each of you to watch an entire episode and see if you laugh more than twice--that is if you haven't offed yourself with a .45 already.

Music

U2: If there is a band that has gotten more credit in the last decade for the greatness it established in it's first decade, I'd like to know. I don't care what any of you say. They peaked with "The Joshua Tree"--in 1987. Now what do we know U2 for? "Uno, dos, tres, catorce!". Hey Bono, how do you say "Suck my balls" in Spanish? Dill.

Airport Security

All I've got to say is that a policy that prohibits you from bringing a lighter on the plane either in carry-on or in checked baggage but still allows you to check your GUNS into your travel luggage may need a bit of tweaking. I had to give up my prized Zippo when I checked into the airport earlier this week. But don't worry, I'll get it back. I got to pay SEVEN bucks so that the airport could mail it back to me--in 3-4 weeks. Dicks.


Song of the Day: "Middle of Nowhere"

Artist: Hot Hot Heat

Album: Elevator

Lyric of Possible Relevance:

"But you're waiting at the door
where everybody's hanging out just like they hung out before
You didn't have to do it but you did it to say
That you didn't have to do it but you would anyway."