I am apparently a Latino. I thought I was a Hispanic. Why do the members of my culture have so many identifying labels? Hell if I know. I always have, and still do, prefer the term Hispanic. Truth be told, I'm half white and half Hispanic. I'm half mutt, half Hispanic. I'm Manic. I digress..
Tomorrow I have to give a speech to a large group of high achieving Latino high school students. God knows how many people they asked before they came to me, but what the hell? So the subject of my speech deals with being duly prepared for going to college and the admissions process as a whole. But that's not what I'm writing about tonight. I'm not gonna bore you with the shit I go to work with everyday. What I find myself fearing viewed as a fraud.
I, Anthony, fear that I am a FAKE Hispanic or a fake Latino. A Fatino, if you will. Why do I feel this way? Well, it isn't because I'm a half breed. I mean, I've always loved that I'm half white and half Hispanic. To me it meant that I got to have good taste while still being able to actually dance a little bit. The reason I'm feeling this way is because I don't speak Spanish. I will be surrounded by all of these Hispanic kids, their parents, and influential community leaders. And I fear that I will somehow be exposed. I will be surrounded by all of these REAL Hispanics who speak the language. I fear that I will be somehow exposed as the whitest white guy ever. Anyway, what do you guys think? Will I do okay? Should I be worrying about this? Am I a real Hispanic, even if I don't speak the language? I await your input.
Song of the Day: "Will Never Marry"
Artist: Morrissey
Album: Bona Drag
Lyric of Possible Relevance: "For whether you stay, or you stray an inbuilt guilt catches up with you. And as it comes around to your place at 5 a.m.; wakes you up and it laughs in your face."
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5 comments:
Well, you do what you have to do. It's too late to worry about it. The speech is about the admission process not about being hispanic. You are who you are. ha we are who we are. If someone walks up to you and starts speaking spanish, which would be silly, just say, "hey, I'm pretty rusty on my spanish sorry, which isn't a lie." Just remember you are the valued guest. :)
I know a lot of hispanics who don't speak spanish, or don't speak spanish well. I don't think that this is a defining characteristic. I wouldn't worry about it. You've achieved a lot, and worked hard to get where you are. Remember that you'll be the one speaking because your audience is there to learn from you. You know what it takes to get to college and succeed there. Tell them about it. If they think less of you for any reason, then they've missed the point, and it's their loss.
hey i know you won't get this until after you already speak...so i hope you rocked, as i'm sure you did. And even though Latinos who do speak Spanish turn me on, haha, Latinos who don't do too.
Welcome to my world. White and Punjabi? At least I know when I leave the house smelling like curry. ;)
If you remember, I am half Mexican, half white, with some Choctaw. I don't know more than a few words in Spanish, which got mixed up when I went to Italy! I am proudly mixed!
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