Please. Don't get up.


When I was a kid, comic books became an absolute obsession of mine. Like most kids, I went through a baseball card phase, a He-Man phase, a country phase, a rap phase, a New Kids on the Block phase (remember, we ALL do gay things sometimes), an adolescent phase (almost done with that), a tag every girl I see phase, an honesty phase (glad that's over with), and the list goes on and on and on... But my comic book phase may have been the most fun. I think I was always looking for a bad-ass hero to look up to, and Batman and the X-Men provided plenty of options. My therapist would say that I was looking for a positive male role model after my parents' divorce, but I think I was just looking for a hero whose personality traits I could adopt. Why do you guys think I'm so damned brooding and moody? I'm Batman. Bitch.

But if Batman was the man I most wanted to be like in crazy science fiction terms, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the woman I most wanted to have my children. She is tough, complex, HIGHLY sexual, melancholy, and sarcastically witty. Think this hasn't influenced the choice of women I've dated?

In light of this relationship that has carried on for nearly a decade, I would like to bow down in a complete and total "we're not worthy" kind of way to this week's W.C.O.G.W.S.M.M.P.G.C.T.W, Sarah Michelle Gellar. Sarah Michelle obviously found her way into my heart with Buffy, but she has continued to make my pants schizophrenic with a few of her films which include "The Grudge" and "Cruel Intentions" (Sarah Michelle Gellar. Selma Blair. Tongues. Oh, and a line where she seals the deal on the wager. If you've seen it, you know it. And if you haven't, see it.). Now, she loses some points for being married the most GIGANTIC of SPARES, Freddie Prinze, Jr. It pains me to know that his mediocrity has soiled the beautiful body of Sarah Michelle. And yes, I choose to ignore both Scooby Doo movies for several reasons, including his presence. But I believe the best is yet to come for Sarah Michelle Gellar. She has the potential for new creative avenues in her post-Buffy life. She will undoubtedly use her sex eyes and her body of lust so hard to find new projects that will continue to make me tingle in such unclean ways.

So concludes this week's W.C.O.G.W.S.M.M.P.G.C.T.W, Sarah Michelle Gellar. Her greatness merits a highly special and sexual BONUS picture with a BONUS witty caption from Yours Truly.

Song of the Day: "There is a Light That Never Goes Out"
Artist: The Smiths
Album: The Queen Is Dead
Lyric of Possible Relevance:
"Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and I
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please don't drop me home
Because it's not my home, it's their home, and I'm welcome no more"