Wednesday's Child OR The Girl Who Sorta Makes My Pants Go Crazy This Week

You can be late when you're this hot.



When I was a sophomore in college, I had one of the absolute best single dates in the history of forever. I brought the flowers. We had a great dinner. And with some time to kill before the movie, I took her to the bookstore where I led her to the children's section to read her "The Missing Piece Meets the Big O" by Shell Silverstein. Yes, there was a time where girls dug cute shit like this and it worked for me. I've probably now exposed myself to any of you whom I might have been planning to use this little trick on. Don't worry, I have other ways to seduce you. Anyhow, we went to the dollar theater and saw the cute and extremely underwhelming "She's All That" (We ALL do gay things sometimes). The one highlight of this SPARE movie was this week's Wednesday's Child. How great was she? Let me count the ways:

1. She was so great that she made me forget that I had paid money to watch no-talent spooge monkey Freddie Prinze Jr in a movie.

2. I can say that this week's W.C.O.G.W.S.M.M.P.G.C.T.W is, in fact, "all that" with a straight face. If I ever refer to you or anyone else that way, stab me in the back, dump me in a ditch, and whistle while you walk away. I will have deserved it and won't hold it against you in the afterlife where while I will undoubtedly be powerful I will also be fair.

3. Despite the fact that this was the best single date I've ever been on, this week's Wednesday's Child created such a stir in my Puerto Rican region that I can't for the life of me remember my date's name.

With that, I'd like to recognize this week's W.C.O.G.W.S.M.M.P.G.C.T.W, the sinfully and sexually charged Rachel Leigh Cook. In addition to the aforementioned film (a term I use loosely), Rachel has starred in several indie flicks which are definitely littered with both hits and misses. But this selection is of course based on her unquestionable hotness. I mean hell, she's so tasty she needs three names (much like last week's Wednesday's Child). Her "F me like you mean it" eyes are always a highlight and I feel that that particular talent alone merits greater attention from the general public. Though the fact that every fiber of her existence gets MY attention ought to be enough for her. Don't you think? I think so very hard.

Thus concludes this week's edition, kids. I thank you and Rachel thanks you. Guys, a word of advice: Don't stare directly at the picture above. Your pants may never forgive you.

Song of the Day: "BigTime"
Artist: The Soundtrack of Our Lives
Album: Origin, Vol. I
Lyric of Possible Relevance:

"Welcome to the future
Talking about the old times
Scared about the new times
Does anybody know you?
Will anybody need you?
Can anybody please you?
Does anybody have to?
Welcome to the future."