Wednesday's Child OR The Girl Who Sorta Makes My Pants Go Crazy This Week

The only way that suicide could ever be hot.


I don't want to set a precedent, Kids. This is MY world and you are only a visitor. These are MY girls--at least in my head and on my little gay blog. But it's all I got, so don't think I'll keep taking requests for a Wednesday's Child...

Now don't get me wrong. This week's W.C.O.G.W.S.M.M.P.G.C.T.W. was definitely due at some point down the road, but someone very special to me asked for it now, and I acquiesced. This is due to the fact that I live by only two rules (at least the only two I can come up with right now).

1. You have to smoke to look cool.

2. When your hot, blonde, bisexual friend asks you for something, you F'ing do it. Now. Look at her. She's hot and she likes to touch women in the same unsavory ways you wish to. Do it.

In the spirit of such hard fun imagery, I present this week's W.C.O.G.W.S.M.M.P.G.C.T.W., the super duper sexy and sweet clean Kirsten Dunst. The girl who first made my pants shift ever so slightly in "Interview With the Vampire" and who made me curl up into the fetal position of ecstasy with her extremely sexual/disturbing/HIGHLY sexual portrayal of Lux Lisbon in "The Virgin Suicides" get this week's honor. The one scene that for me sticks out in this movie (interesting choice of words) is where Lux gets into a car for her date with Trip Fontaine (played ably by Josh Hartnett) and the camera suddenly focuses on an x-ray vision shot of her underwear where Lux has put Trip's name on the front, just under the waist...

I can't tell you how many times girls have written my name on their underwear--in the place in my head called Porno World, that is. Porno World, just so you know, is actually the TRUE "Happiest Place On Earth". Mickey and Goofy can blow me.

So yes, she has starred in plenty of misses like "Bring It On" and "Get Over It" and one of the failed "Crow" sequels, but the W.C.O.G.W.S.M.M.P.G.C.T.W. is a woman who is easily forgiven for her paycheck movie indiscretions. She's also dating the highly overrated Jake Gyllenhaal, who for every "Donnie Darko" has a "Bubble Boy" and "Day After Tomorrow" to show for it. While he is a relative spare who is only soiling with his mediocrity the future mother of my children at the moment, I haven't found many of the men who date my W.C.O.G.W.S.M.M.P.G.C.T.W.'s to my liking.

So with that, I conclude another entertaining salute to this week's Wednesday's Child, Kirsten Dunst, who is a sexual rollercoaster of sin, a sultry and talented woman of greatness, and a personal favorite of myself and the hottest, blondest, tantalizingly bisexualist girl I know.

RAV's Random Note About His Possibly Highly Uncomfortable Weekend to Come

Just a note for all of you. Tomorrow I'm leaving on a Texas roadtrip to see one of my favorite bands, The Decemberists, play three straight shows in Dallas, Houston (Toilet Town), and Austin. Fucking great, right? Well, I'm hoping so. This trip was planned months back--with my ex-fiancee and ex-girlfriend (they are the same person in case you were wondering)--and it's still on. Well, its been a couple weeks since the big change went down and we talked today on the phone for the second time since then and things seem like they'll be fine. Here's hoping it's not as awkward as it could potentially be. If you could guys could randomly call or text message with funny jokes or words of encouragement, I'd be grateful. Enjoy the rest of your week. I'll be back Sunday with the details of this strangely-timed roadtrip with my ex.

Oh and by the way--if you have any trouble with anything of any kind in the next few days, remember this: I love you. My love is all you need. And ladies, you writing my name in your underwear is all I need.

Song of the Day: "We Both Go Down Together"
Artist: The Decemberists
Album: Picaresque
Lyric of Possible Relevance: "And while your head is spinning, hold tight, it's just beginning."